Have you ever walked away from a conversation replaying what you said, wishing you had explained it better, hoping that maybe this time they would finally understand you?

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. As women, many of us have been conditioned since childhood to crave understanding and validation. It makes sense: being understood often meant being loved, safe, or accepted.

But in midlife, that craving can keep us stuck. It shows up as:

• Defensiveness when we don’t feel heard.

• Over explaining to prove our point.

• People pleasing to avoid conflict.

• Self doubt when others don’t “get” us.

The truth? Your peace doesn’t depend on someone else’s understanding.

Why We May Never Be Fully Understood

Everyone sees life through their own lens their wounds, expectations, upbringing, and values. Sometimes people simply don’t have the capacity to see your truth clearly. And that’s okay.

Trying harder to explain often only creates more disconnect. It invites debate instead of acceptance.

The Freedom of Release

Letting go of the need to be understood is one of the most freeing shifts we can make in midlife. It looks like:

• Trusting your truth without needing approval.

• Choosing kindness without appeasement.

• Measuring peace not by how others respond, but by how aligned you feel in your own body and soul.

A Simple Reframe

Empathy isn’t obligation. You can understand someone else’s perspective without collapsing into it. You can honor your truth without demanding that they “get it.”

Try This:

Journal on this question:
✨ “Where am I still trying to be understood in order to feel at peace? What would it feel like to release that and let my truth be enough?”

And remember this mantra:
👉 “My peace is mine. I do not need to be understood to be free.”

If you’re ready to stop explaining and start trusting, tune into Episode 92 of Trusting Dorothy for the full conversation: Stop Explaining, Start Trusting: Finding Peace in Your Own Truth.

If this message resonates, and you’re ready for a more grounded nervous system daily so you find more peace, self-trust, and connection to yourself, that’s exactly what we do inside Within: A Return to Self.
It’s a 21-day journey of gentle practices to calm your nervous system, deepen your self-trust, and create the space for what’s next.

 Learn more here