Trusting Your Intuition When It Would Be Easier Not To

What if the thing you keep trying to talk yourself out of is actually your intuition asking you to listen?

There are so many moments in life when we get a clear internal yes or no, and then immediately start negotiating with ourselves.

Maybe I'm overthinking this.

It would be easier to just go along with it.

I don't want to be difficult.

They've already put in the time.

What if they don't like me?

Maybe I should just accept it.

In this episode, I’m exploring what it looks like to actually listen to yourself in those moments, especially when overriding your intuition would be easier or more comfortable.

Things Are Always Working Out for You

One of the beliefs I come back to again and again is:

Things are always working out for you.

That doesn't mean everything happens exactly the way you wanted it to. It doesn't mean you're never disappointed, frustrated, sad, or angry.

It means you can let yourself feel whatever you genuinely feel, and then come back to the possibility that there is something working out for you that you can't see yet.

I experienced this a couple of years ago when I found out while I was in Kauai that I hadn't gotten a PE teacher position I had applied for. I was genuinely disappointed, even though I had only really wanted the job for a couple of weeks.

Looking back, I can see that some of the disappointment wasn't necessarily about that specific job. There was also something underneath it about wanting to be chosen, recognized, and acknowledged.

And that distinction can be helpful.

We can allow ourselves to be disappointed without deciding that disappointment means we've made a wrong turn.

Sometimes what doesn't happen is simply redirecting us toward something that fits us better.

When You Don't Get the Thing You Thought You Wanted

I had another opportunity to practice this recently when I found out I wasn't selected as the lead teacher at the Pilates studio where I work.

There were plenty of reasons I would have loved that role. I love leading. I love supporting other instructors. I have years of experience and a lot of knowledge that I genuinely want to share.

And a past version of me probably would have immediately thought:

Okay, what's next? How do I move up? What's the next thing I need to accomplish?

But I've changed.

I can still feel disappointed and also recognize that there are so many other places where I want to put my energy, my virtual workouts, my podcast, my coaching, and supporting women in a way that feels aligned with where I am now.

I don't need a particular title to be a great instructor or to support other people.

Sometimes something not working out gives us an opportunity to ask:

What does this help me remember about what I actually want?

Your Intuition Might Be Trying to Tell You Something

The Big Bear cabin gave me a much more literal example.

As we transitioned the cabin from a short-term rental to a long-term rental, there were a lot of decisions to make. One of those was replacing the flooring in two bedrooms.

The flooring we'd originally used was no longer available, so a flooring store recommended what they believed would be the best match.

But something in me immediately went:

Ugh. I don't like this.

And then came all the reasons I could ignore that feeling.

They had already spent time helping me.

They had ordered the flooring.

I didn't have a better option immediately available.

I didn't want to be difficult.

It would have been easier to just accept it.

But my husband reminded me:

If you don't feel good about this, you don't have to do it.

That was exactly what I needed to hear.

I slowed down, found another way to compare the flooring, and ultimately discovered that the flooring I had been about to accept was significantly darker than the original.

My intuition had been right.

How Do You Know If You're Overthinking or Listening to Your Intuition?

This is where it can get tricky.

We don't want to use “intuition” as a reason to endlessly second-guess every decision. And sometimes anxiety, fear, past experiences, or overthinking can all sound very loud.

So what I've been practicing is paying attention to that initial feeling.

That first:

No.

That doesn't feel good.

I don't want this.

Instead of immediately dismissing it, pause.

You don't necessarily have to act immediately. But you can listen.

You can give yourself time.

You can talk it through with someone you trust.

You can ask yourself:

What am I actually feeling?

What is my intuition telling me?

And why am I trying so hard to override it?

Why We Override Ourselves

For me, some of the biggest reasons are surprisingly simple:

I don't want to hurt someone's feelings.

I don't want to be difficult.

I don't want to rock the boat.

I want to be liked.

I feel guilty because someone has already put in effort.

And sometimes those patterns come from past experiences where speaking up didn't go well.

Maybe you learned that it was safer to stay quiet.

Maybe being clear created conflict.

Maybe you were made to feel like you were “too much” or “overthinking.”

Whatever the reason, you can notice it without judging yourself for it.

And then you get another opportunity to practice trusting yourself.

You Can Be Clear AND Kind

Listening to your intuition doesn't mean you have to bulldoze your way through life.

In fact, I think the goal is the opposite.

You can approach these situations with kindness, clarity, and care.

You can say what you actually want.

You can change your mind.

You can ask for something different.

You can tell someone that something isn't working for you.

And you can do all of that while still treating the other person with respect.

Sometimes we confuse being kind with avoiding clarity.

But when we're unclear because we're trying so hard to be kind, nobody necessarily gets what they actually want.

So the practice becomes:

Listen. Get clear. Understand why you're overriding yourself. Then respond with care.

Three Steps for Trusting Your Intuition

1. Listen to the initial feeling.

When you feel a strong yes or a strong no, don't immediately discount yourself.

You don't have to make a dramatic decision. Just notice it.

Give yourself enough space to actually hear what's there.

2. Ask why you're trying to override it.

Is it because you genuinely changed your mind?

Or is it because you're uncomfortable?

Are you worried about disappointing someone?

Do you want to be liked?

Are you feeling guilty?

Would it simply be easier to go along with everyone else?

That information matters.

3. Find a way forward with kindness and care.

Once you know what you actually want, figure out how to honor that while still handling the situation thoughtfully.

Then do the thing.

Don't spend weeks ruminating about the conversation you need to have or the decision you've already made internally.

Listen to yourself.

Trust yourself.

Take the next step.

You Don't Have to Figure Out All 20 Steps

One of the other reminders I needed during the Big Bear transition was that sometimes you don't need to know how you're going to get all the way to the end.

Maybe there are 20 steps between where you are and where you want to be.

You don't have to solve all 20 today.

Just do the next step.

Clear out the room.

Make the phone call.

Ask the question.

Look at the other flooring.

Have the conversation.

Take the next step that feels available.

That alone can create so much more movement and peace.

Trusting Yourself Is a Practice

Every time you listen to yourself and it works out, you build a little more trust.

And unfortunately, the opposite can happen too.

When we repeatedly override ourselves, we can eventually become disconnected from what we actually want.

We can get so accustomed to asking everyone else what they think that we don't know what we think anymore.

That's where coming back into your body can be so powerful.

Nervous system regulation, movement, and simply becoming more aware of how you feel in your body can give you a place to start.

You don't have to have all the answers.

You can begin by noticing.

How does this feel?

What feels like a yes?

What feels like a no?

And then practice trusting what you hear.

Because there will always be another opportunity.

Another decision.

Another moment when you have the chance to choose yourself.

And another opportunity to remind yourself:

I can trust my intuition.

I can trust myself.

Things are always working out for me.

In This Episode

• Following your intuition when it's inconvenient

• Letting disappointment be disappointment without making it mean something has gone wrong

• The belief that things are always working out for you

• Being passed over for an opportunity and finding the deeper lesson

• Transitioning a short-term rental into a long-term rental

• The flooring decision that reminded me to trust my gut

• The difference between intuition and overthinking

• Why we override ourselves to keep other people comfortable

• Learning to be clear without being unkind

• Taking the next step instead of figuring out the entire path

• Nervous system regulation and reconnecting with your body

• Building self-trust through repeated practice

A question to take with you this week:

Where in your life are you getting a quiet, or not so quiet, “this doesn't feel right”?

And what might happen if, instead of immediately talking yourself out of it, you simply listened?

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