Trusting the Signs & Just Doing One Thing

Trusting the signs & just doing one thing.

After a summer break, I’m back on the Trusting Dorothy podcast, and this episode is not exactly what I thought my first episode back would be.

I had planned to return in September with a list of topics I wanted to talk about, conversations I wanted to have, and ideas I was excited to share. Instead, just a week before recording this episode, we said goodbye to our dog, Daphne, after 16 years together.

And honestly, I almost didn't record this episode at all.

I felt sad. I felt grief... And then I noticed another familiar feeling: resistance.

I started thinking about how coming back to the podcast meant I would have to record another episode next week, and then another one the week after that. Suddenly, something that had once felt exciting felt like a huge commitment.

So instead of committing to the next 100 episodes, I decided to just do one.

One episode.

One thing at a time.

Grief, gratitude, and everything that can exist at the same time

Daphne was part of our family for 16 years. She was there before we had kids, through pregnancy and babies and toddlers, elementary school, COVID, family trips, and so many ordinary days that I now realize were anything but ordinary.

Her passing also happened at a significant moment in our family. She died on the first Monday that both of my kids were in middle school.

I had already been thinking about how quickly our kids are growing and how each stage of parenting eventually comes to an end. Usually, I think of it as pages turning and a new chapter beginning.

But losing Daphne made it feel different.

It felt like an entire book had closed.

There is grief in that. There is sadness in missing her. There is sadness in missing the versions of our family that existed when she was here.

But there is also so much gratitude.

And I'm learning that grief and gratitude don't have to compete with each other.

We can miss someone deeply and still feel happy.

We can feel sad and grateful in the exact same moment.

We can have a beautiful memory that makes us laugh and then suddenly feel the ache of realizing that person—or dog—isn't here anymore.

No emotion has to cancel out another emotion.

What my dog taught me about slowing down

Daphne was really good at reminding me to slow down.

As she got older, our walks became slower. Sometimes very slow.

There was no rushing her along so we could get somewhere else. There was just the walk.

There was also sitting outside in the morning sun. Sniffing around. Resting. Being present.

Watching her helped me recognize how often I was rushing through my own life.

And especially during the years when I was building my coaching business and doing too much, my nervous system needed that reminder.

You don't have to rush through everything.

You can sit in the sun.

You can take the slow walk.

You can enjoy the ordinary Tuesday.

You can let the little things be enough.

One of the things I want to carry forward from Daphne is the ability to be genuinely excited about the little things—the same walk, someone coming home, a good meal, seeing the people you love, or simply having another day to experience your life.

The gift of co-regulation

Another thing Daphne taught me was how powerful it can be to simply be with someone who is having a hard time.

When my kids were upset, she would often just lie next to them.

She didn't need to fix it.

She didn't need them to stop crying.

She didn't take their emotions personally.

She was simply there.

Looking back, I realize how much co-regulation she provided for our family.

And that's something I'm thinking about as my kids move into their teenage years. Their emotions aren't going away. If anything, they're going to continue changing and getting bigger and more complicated.

I don't need to make every emotion better.

I can be the person they are allowed to be sad with.

The person they can be angry with.

The person they can fall apart around.

Sometimes the most supportive thing we can do is simply stay present.

Asking for signs after loss

After Daphne died, I started talking to her.

And I started asking for signs.

I know that may sound strange to some people. That's okay.

I think we each get to decide what feels meaningful to us.

I asked Daphne to send me a squirrel if she was safe and okay.

And then something happened that felt so specific and so perfectly timed that I couldn't help but pause.

Later, I asked for other signs too—a feather, and eventually a butterfly.

My daughter even asked Daphne for a very specific sign: a monarch butterfly.

The next day, her entire science lesson at school happened to be about butterflies—and specifically monarch butterflies.

Could all of these things be coincidences?

Of course.

Could they mean something more?

I think that's something each of us gets to decide for ourselves.

But what I find most interesting isn't whether I can prove that Daphne sent a squirrel, a feather, or a butterfly.

It's what happens when I ask, become open, slow down, and notice.

You don't need proof to trust what you feel

Our logical minds are incredibly good at explaining things away.

That's part of what our brains are designed to do.

But sometimes there is another part of us that notices something before we can logically explain it.

Maybe it's intuition.

Maybe it's coincidence.

Maybe it's something spiritual.

Maybe it's simply our attention becoming focused on something that already has meaning for us.

I don't think we have to know for certain.

We can let something mean something to us without needing everyone else to agree.

Sometimes trusting yourself means allowing yourself to say:

“I don't know exactly what this means, but it means something to me.”

And maybe that's enough.

Just do one thing

The other lesson in this episode is much simpler.

You don't have to figure everything out right now.

You don't have to commit to the entire future.

You don't have to know what the next 100 episodes of your life are going to look like.

You don't have to clean the entire house.

You don't have to solve the entire problem.

You don't have to know exactly what's next.

Sometimes you can just choose one thing.

One walk.

One conversation.

One workout.

One breath.

One small step.

One podcast episode.

And then see what comes next.

That's where I'm at right now.

I'm allowing myself to be in the grief, the gratitude, the love, the signs, the uncertainty, and the inspiration—all at the same time.

And I'm trusting that I don't need to know exactly where it's all going.

I can just listen.

I can notice.

I can trust myself a little more.

And I can do one thing.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Grieving the loss of a beloved dog after 16 years

• How grief and gratitude can coexist

• The unexpected ways pet loss can mark the end of a life chapter

• Learning to slow down and enjoy the ordinary moments

• How dogs can teach us about presence and nervous system regulation

• Co-regulation and supporting our children through big emotions

• Asking for signs after someone we love dies

• My experiences with squirrels, feathers, and a monarch butterfly

• Intuition versus needing logical proof

• Why you can allow something to be meaningful without knowing exactly what it means

• Letting yourself feel every emotion without making any of them wrong

• Overcoming resistance and coming back to the podcast

• The freedom of doing one thing at a time

• Trusting yourself when you don't know what's next

Maybe you don't need to figure everything out today.

Maybe you just need to notice what's in front of you.

Trust the sign.

Listen to yourself.

And do the next thing.

Ways to go deeper:

Within a 21-day self-guided journey to more peace and calm in your nervous system and life. HERE

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